Every once in a while, I’ll troll the Internet for things to amuse me while I hang around the house alone, waiting for the munchkins to return from their various adventures in the neighborhood.  I’ll generally unwind from a long day by searching for funny stories.

And then I run across something like this, and I keep wondering what the writer had to be thinking when he wrote this:

“He volunteered to police that he had a stick and a
torch inserted in his anus for sexual gratification. He had inserted it
because he was depressed.”

For those of you who don’t know, a torch is a flashlight.  This numbskull had a flashlight up his ass.  Apparently he had a case of the blues and thought that inserting a foreign object into his anus would cure the problem.

I remember watching a video of a newscaster when I was in broadcast journalism school, trying to keep a straight face while reporting on the Lorena Bobbitt story.  I remember thinking I’d never be that unprofessional when reporting on a legitimate news story.

And then, several years later, I had to interview Charlie Dick, the late Patsy Cline’s second husband.

And when your morning show co-host is just as much of an immature jackass as you are, your segment turns out to be a complete disaster!

So I can’t help but wonder what the writer had to be thinking when writing a paragraph that involved the words “inserted,” “torch,” and “anus.”  I’m betting he was chuckling for a while.

But hey – at least he wasn’t live on the air with thousands of listeners realizing that their morning show co-host is a complete asshat.