I’ve decided I hate home ownership. No, I’m never late on my payments (as a matter of fact, twice this year, I’ve actually made DOUBLE payments on my house accidentally, and left myself cleaned out), and I’m not one of those pernicious shitbricks who bought a house she couldn’t afford in hopes of turning a quick profit, and is now suffering because she can’t make payments. I’m also not one of those irresponsible nimrods who allowed the mortgage companies to convince her to buy a house she couldn’t afford at a variable rate, because I was stupid enough to actually think that interest rates would remain low forever.
No, that’s not me.
I’m responsible. I pay my bills on time.
I help out my friends financially when they need it.
So why the hell does my house hate me?
This winter, the upstairs heater blew out. I had to call a professional.
A month later the heater downstairs blew out. Same problem. I had to call a professional.
A few weeks later, the dishwasher decided to flood my house. It was an easy fix not performed by me, but a professional. It cost me $90 just to have him come out and tell me that there was a knife caught somewhere inside the insidious depths of my dishwasher.
The kitchen faucet decided it was going to stop working. $187 later a very nice plumber fixed it.
My washer broke a few weeks later. Busted pump.
And today… the garage door. The main spring snapped and broke in two. The wire cord that pulls the garage door up has snapped. I wonder how much it’s going to cost to fix…
I feel like my house is conspiring against me. Every time I put money in savings and think I’m doing well, I have to take it right back out to pay for something broken in my house. I’m beginning to think it’s a liberal ploy to keep me destitute, because – DAMMIT! – if everyone in the country can’t put money in savings every month, NO ONE friggin’ will, right?
I’m beginning to think I need to do a Pagan ritual in my house to rid it of evil spirits who insist on breaking things. Maybe I’ll do that tonight. Anyone have a goat I can sacrifice?
NOTE: to those of you who are sarcasm-challenged, I’m really not going to sacrifice a goat on the altar of non-broken appliances, and yes, I’m perfectly aware that animal sacrifices aren’t cool in Paganism – at least not the modern type. Your goats are safe with me, so shut up in advance, OK?
Jun 08, 2009 @ 23:09:55
Welcome to the happy home–owners’ club, Nicki. ROFLThe filler valve in our toilet is on the fritz, (won’t stop), so i go to the local hardware store, and, they don’t have what I need. So is still on the fritz.I could go on (and on, and on), but I don’t want to make you bilious.Q: “Is there anything around here that doesn’t fall apart?”A: “No. Welcome to my world.”
Jun 08, 2009 @ 23:17:00
This is the third home I’ve owned, and the first where everything has gone wrong in the span of 6 months! It hates me!
Jun 09, 2009 @ 01:02:19
Ask Superman about home ownership, he seems to have a water drainage problem with the mountain, seems like when I visit I spend half of my time fixing his drainage problems oh the joy of owning a home…the AMERICAN DREAM
Jun 09, 2009 @ 01:22:09
Hey on the bright side, since you are fixing everything in the early stages of this homeownership, soon everything in it will be brand new. Then you can sit back and relax and watch your neighbor’s homes fall apart with that smug “been there, done that” attitude.
We actually just had the same situation with the garage door spring thingy happen recently. Apparently, they only last about 10 years and are supposed to be sprayed with silicone on a monthly basis to keep them smooth.Good Luck.PS- that spring will probably be 200 for a double garage and 100 for a single door garage. Or if you can find a guy to do barter, you might be able to pay him with that goat you are NOT going to sacrifice 
Jun 09, 2009 @ 02:40:50
Yep. I’m quite familiar with the drainage issues in that house. It’s a pain. He’s done a pretty good job preventing further problems lately, but he still gets water every once in a while, especially with the amount of rain we’ve had lately! I love that house, though! It’s cozy!I love owning my own home, but I hate it at the same time, because I’m completely inept at anything more than changing lightbulbs.
Jun 09, 2009 @ 02:42:01
Well, I’ve had this house for about four and a half years. And everything seems to be happening NOW! UGH!!! Figures.You’re talking about the large spring at the top, right?
Jun 09, 2009 @ 03:00:12
Yep, it is the main spring. Ours completely snapped in half and sounded like someone shot through the garage with a shotgun when it let go. We couldn’t open the garage by hand because the door was too heavy. We did try though which was a comedy sketch in itself.
Apparently, that is a very common break point when they get old (10 years is old for those springs).The repairman came out, had it fixed in like 30 minutes. We may have even paid a little more than the going rate because he came out at like 8pm as an “emergency” call.Beware though, our guy did try to tell us that we “really should upgrade this that and the other thing”. Simply tell him you want the main spring replaced or they’ll try to sell you the kitchen sink.
Jun 09, 2009 @ 03:17:29
There’s a simple explanation, Nicki.I bet all the warranties on those things just ran out, right? Right? Murphy is a bastard.
Jun 09, 2009 @ 13:35:47
Mister Murphy knows when items around the house need to let go, it’s generally when you have a few extra dollars that you would like to do something else with, or are digging yourself deeper into credit card debt.
Jun 09, 2009 @ 16:46:17
No goats..but I know where you can get 317 jackasses, a buffoon and a walking douche-nozzle for your sacrificial needs!