There’s something I really want to know: how many deadbeat, fiscally irresponsible people have had my home phone number in the past?  Because the number of calls I get from collection agencies for idiots who owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of money is getting out of control.

First there’s this festering twat named Karen Marshall.  I promise that if I ever meet her, I’m going to drag her to the nearest collection agency by her short and curlies and leave her on the doorstep duct taped to the railing with a sign that reads, “I’m a dumb bitch who doesn’t know how to control her debts and leaves other people to deal with collection calls intended for me.”  I can’t even count how many different collection agencies have called me about this woman!  She must owe the entire world money!  I have told several different collection agencies that I don’t know any Karen Marshall, and to please stop calling.  They do.  But then OTHER collection agencies begin to call.  It’s like a never-ending circle of debtors’ doom!

Then, there’s some numbnuts named Brian Marshall.  I have to assume he’s related to Karen Marshall, but I’m not sure.  All I know is that he had this number at some point as well, and a whole DIFFERENT set of collection agencies call my house looking for this loser.  So yes, once again I have to waste time and breath calling these agencies and informing them that I am the rightful user of this phone number, and that if Brian Marshall gave them this number, he either lied to them to get them off his back, or he simply doesn’t have this number any longer.  Whatever his deal is, he owes someone money, hasn’t paid it and has forced the people to whom he owes money to chase his ass down – dragging me into it in the process.  Jerk.

And then there’s someone named Ida Sterling.  This is a new one.  No one has ever called for her before that I recall, so I’m wondering if this woman didn’t spend a bunch of money that isn’t hers and gave her creditors a random phone number to get out of paying her debts.

Note to deadbeats: quit borrowing money you can’t pay back and quit giving your lenders my phone number!  I’m sick and tired of having to talk to creditors and collection agencies!