I just saw the ABC news photo of the Crotchbomber’s explosive panties, and it really started my mind working. It’s a quite feminine pair of panties with an explosive packet sewn into the crotch.  INTO THE CROTCH, PEOPLE!!!  How unhinged do you have to be to wake up one morning and go, “Hmmmm…. gee…. I think killing Americans is MUCH more important than my penis!  I think I’ll set it on fire in the name of Allah!”

What. The. Fuck.

This Nigerian assflake was actually fanatical enough to concede to blowing up his own nuts in an effort to kill a few Americans on a plane!  He either values his manhood very little (quite obvious by the fact that the cowardly sow humper committed himself to killing innocent civilians, including children), or he’d overslept on his way to the airport and his suppliers all ran out of suicide belts leaving him with the choice of exploding panties, or a dynamite dildo.  Maybe he thinks his junk will be restored in heaven just in time to hump his 72 virgins.  I don’t know.  All I know is that if I were a man, there is nothing in this world I’d hate strongly enough to blow up my own crotch!

I hear guys are really attached to their little friend!

I’m a pretty passionate person.  I’m emotional.  And yes, sometimes irrationally so… but I tell you one thing: There is NOTHING in this world that I’m so passionate about that I would set my junk on fire!  NOTHING.

There is nothing in this world that would prompt me to blow up my own genitals.

Maybe I’m just not that passionate. Maybe I’m not a true believer. Maybe true believers honestly think their penis will be magically regrown in heaven. Maybe their version of heaven is littered with unused penises and sets of testicles just waiting to be picked off ripe trees and reattached to their burned genital region with Allah’s Krazy Glue.

But you know what?  I’m not willing to take that chance!


UPDATE

Well, boys and girls… now we know why the Crotchbomber decided to set his winky on fire on that fateful Christmas day.  He was apparently lonely and misunderstood.

Those posts, beginning in 2005, show a teenager looking for a new life outside his boarding school and wealthy Nigerian family.

Most of all, they paint a portrait of someone who seems lost and needs someone to hear him.

Thepostings seem hastily written and are replete with spelling and grammarerrors. In one, on Jan 28. 2005, he wrote: “i am in a situation where ido not have a friend, i have no one to speak too, no one to consult, noone to support me and i feel depressed and lonely. i do not know whatto do.”

Hmmmmm.  Yes.  That’s exactly what you need to do when you’re feeling down in the dumps. Don an explosive panty liner and set your own genitals on fire.  That’ll fix all your problems!  Maybe Kotex can start a brand new line for the depressed Jihadist: The Missile Maxi!