A bit of hilarity on a Monday

So my shoulder is healing nicely.  I’m now able to do all the exercises assigned for physical therapy with little discomfort, and I’ve tossed the BIG pain pills in favor of Ibuprofen (or as we commonly refer to it in the military, GI Candy).  I still have to take sleeping pills at night, but that’s mostly because the doctor is forcing me to wear the world’s most uncomfortable sling that usually winds up nearly strangling me in the middle of the night, not because I’m having problems sleeping due to pain.

But I’m going stir crazy in this house.  I just realized that my follow-up appointment is on Friday, not on Thursday, and while that may sound like nothing – only a day’s difference – to me that’s another day trapped in the house until the doctor clears me to drive!  So I’m passing the time watching old episodes of Lost (I’m currently in the middle of Season 1, and I think Locke is a pedantic fuck) and taking naps… lots and lots of naps.

Thank the Great Pumpkin for friends such as Mikie who saw it fit to send me this little tidbit just to cheer me up! 

BBC News – Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a
three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they
are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so
far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of
virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by
25% this February from 72 to 60. A company spokesman said increases in
recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a
shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers’ union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was
unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General
Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally
working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much
in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth”.

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief
executive Osama bin Laden explained, “I sympathize with our workers’
concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their
demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad
in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now
a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice
between reducing expenditures or laying people (I mean laying people off) . I don’t like cutting
benefits, but I’d hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won’t
be able to blow themselves up.”

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland,
Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would
not hurt their membership as there are few virgins in their areas
anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of
suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish
singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin
looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.

Now, that’s some great shit!  If anyone else wants to send me stuff to cheer me up, I sure wouldn’t be averse to it!

Giving al Qaida what they want

I’d like to know two things:

1. Why is this festering shitbag still alive?
2. And why are we giving al Qaida what they want?

In a new message traitorous piece of pig rectum Adam Gadahn warned that more al Qaida attacks would be forthcoming unless the United States gave in to two pig fucker demands:

1. Stop support to Israel
2. Pull U.S. troops out of Afghanistan

Way to send the message to al Qaida that we’ll be doing exactly what they want!

The Obama administration reaffirmed Sunday that it will begin pulling U.S. troops out of Afghanistan next summer, despite reservations among top generals that absolute deadlines are a mistake.

President Barack Obama’s chief of staff said an announced plan to begin bringing forces home in July 2011 still holds.

“That’s not changing. Everybody agreed on that date,” Rahm Emanuel said, adding by name the top three officials overseeing the policy girding the war: Gen. David Petraeus, Defense Secretary Robert Gates and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Adm. Mike Mullen.

Now, both Gen. Petraeus and SECDEF Gates pointedly refused to call this a deadline.  Apparently the Fetid Fuckhead of the Obama Administration Rahm Emanuel had other plans.

Well, congrats, Obamarrhoids!  By this time next year, you will have given the terrorists 50 percent of their demands.  I’m sure support for Israel is next… After all, nothing would make that insane cocknozzle in Iran happier, so why delay? 

Slow bloggage ahead

I’m typing this with one hand.  I had surgery yesterday on my right shoulder, where 5 spikes were essentially hammered into the bone.  That’s not conducive to blogging, so hang in there, guys.

Economic wisdom

Ran across this story on the Greek fiscal crisis on CNBC this morning, which contained wisdom of the year, as far as I’m concerned.

“You can’t take a country that’s over-borrowed and make it more creditworthy by lending it more money… They’re throwing Greece further and further and further in the hole by not addressing the problem directly and properly.”

Hey, Congress!  Are you listening?

Behold your nemesis!

They burn people alive, slice body parts from live victims, castrate, torture rape and kill.  And now they have hanged a little boy in public for…

…spying.

The execution happened Tuesday in the embattled Helmand province, said Dawoud Ahmadi,a spokesman for the provincial governor.

“The innocent boy was not a spy, but he may have informed the police or soldiers about planted explosives,” Ahmadi told Central AsiaToday.

This is your enemy, America.  No matter how much Eric Holder dances around the issue of radical Islam – it is radical Islam that is the enemy! They don’t care whom they kill – children, innocents, women, babies, whatever…  And this is what we must eradicate from this earth.