1 – Cat box is not a snack box.
I have no idea why dogs do this, but they like the taste of cat leavings. EWWWW!
2 – A 10 lb. cat poses no serious physical threat to a 130 lb. Saint Bernard.
So far, the fat cat is disturbing to Tucker. He’s not sure what to do with that thing. He knows the cat likes to come into our room at night, and that makes Tucker protective. He knows it’s a furry grey thing that moves, and that makes Tucker curious and somewhat cautious. Sometimes I don’t know if he wants to attack the fat cat or claim him as his playmate.
3 – Head goes on pillow, not ass… or it’s not polite to fart when you’re sharing a bed with two others and your ass is on the pillow.
4 – And while we’re on the subject of sharing the bed, “sharing” actually implies that you leave some room for others, FFS!
5 – Cat food gives you gas. Stop eating it. That’s why you have dog food!
6 – Cat litter – NOT crunchy doggie snacks! Cat shit – NOT tootsie rolls!
7 – Paws are heavy. Consider NOT hitting anyone in the groin with them!
8 – When walking, it’s OK to walk more than 6 inches away from my leg – mostly because I don’t want pee dribble on my pants.
9 – If we leave you in the house for an hour or two, it doesn’t mean we don’t love you or we’re abandoning you. We’ll be back. Promise. There’s no need to freak out and lose bladder control in the family room.
10 – You are loved. I know you have gone through several homes during the past couple of weeks, and you are confused and have been trucked around all over the East Coast. No one is going to abandon you again. You have a forever family now.
Just don’t fart at my head again, or I’ll feed you to the fat cat!