*Names have been changed to protect the innocent
Sheila: I wonder if whoever wrote this paper was high at the time. How many times one can use the word “ostensibly” in one sentence?
Tom: So let me get this straight… economic growth in Country A will decline because of declining economic growth? WTF?
From my email in reply to Sandy (trying to avoid the email police searching for specific words): Well, fluffers are um… men or women in explicit films who… um… get the “star” of the film “ready” for their performance.
Sandy in reply: That was AWESOME use of PC!
Me to Jack on the way out: Hey, don’t forget to apologize for getting our evaluations to Ben two weeks late when you send them!
Jack in reply: I will salute with my middle finger as I send them!
Me to Jack in reference to a paper we’re evaluating: So they’re trying to say that this country’s poor infrastructure and lack of equipment will hinder command and control operations! REALLY? WHO KNEW?
Jack in reply: So how about we give it a 0.57 out of 3. It will look like we actually put some effort into the math.
Jack in reference to same paper: I hated to give it a 2 on this portion, because it’s so horrible. I argued with myself.
My boss and I in the elevator on our way to get coffee:
Me: Do you smell cookies?
Boss (Taking surreptitious look at overdressed woman in elevator with us and whispering): I think that’s her perfume.
Me (as soon as she exits the elevator): I could bite her!
Email conversation with Sandy:
Me: It’s surprising, but Tucker’s turds really aren’t that huge.
Sandy: I don’t believe you. A dog that size should have pony-sized poo!
Me: No, really. Rob said they were only about 5 inches in diameter when he took him out last night.
Sandy: Why is Rob measuring the size of Tucker’s poo?
Me: I don’t know. He was bored? Why are we discussing Tucker’s poo on a Friday afternoon?
Sandy: It’s Friday afternoon. There’s no work to be done.