So, crazy guy goes on a shooting rampage in a Colorado theater. There’s panic. There’s murder. There’s tragedy. There are unanswered questions.

What does ABC do?  Instead of reporting the news objectively, dipshit Brian Ross decided to bring the Tea Party into it.

ABC’s Brian Ross reported this morning that there is “a Jim Holmes of Aurora, Colorado, page on the Colorado Tea party site… talking about him joining the Tea Party last year.”

“Now, we don’t know if this is the same Jim Holmes,” Ross cautioned “but it’s Jim Holmes of Aurora, Colorado.”

What instructive douchery that Ross took to the Tea Party website first to find himself a Jim Ross! Because obviously, there has been a plethora of Tea Party shooting rampages! Right?

Crickets.

Well, ABC was forced to apologize for being enormous scrotes.

“An earlier ABC News broadcast report suggested that a Jim Holmes of a Colorado Tea Party organization might be the suspect, but that report was incorrect,” ABC News said in a statement. “ABC News and Brian Ross apologize for the mistake, and for disseminating that information before it was properly vetted.”

Translation: Ross wanted to be the first to break the story about a rampaging anti-government, Obama-hating Tea Partier. He was so anxious, he forgot to check his facts.

And then, there’s the New York Times – the fishwrap that never misses the opportunity to mention the words “assault rifle.”

He entered the theater with an AR-15 assault rifle, a Remington 12-gauge shotgun and a .40-caliber Glock handgun. A fourth gun, another Glock pistol, was found in his car. “This is the act, apparently, of a very deranged mind,” said Gov. John Hickenlooper of Colorado.

Never mind it’s a regular semi-automatic rifle – a civilian version of the M-16 – bought legally.

And, of course, the obligatory high-capacity “clip” (IT’S A FUCKING MAGAZINE, YOU SHITSLURPERS!) reference that “would have been illegal had the assault weapons ban not expired,” as well as the panic-mongering by the Business Insider that claims the AR-15 holds up to “30 rounds of high-powered ammunition.”  That’s right, folks. The .223 Remington round is now considered “high-powered ammunition.”  Watch out, varmint! Here comes the high-powered .223! And yes, I wrote that with a straight face!

Narcissus McEgo, of course, made it all about him.

Mr. Obama talked in highly personal ways about the tragedy. “My daughters go to the movies,” he said. “What if Malia and Sasha had been in the theater as so many of our kids do every day? Michelle and I will be fortunate enough to hug our girls a little tighter tonight.”

Meanwhile, AMC has decided to ban masks and FAKE guns in its theaters.

A movie theater chain with a large footprint in Chicago is now banning face-covering masks and fake weapons inside their movie houses nationwide.

The decision comes after the Colorado movie theater massacre. A total of 12 people were killed and 59 wounded during a midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises.”

Well, that will be helpful!

Here’s a word of advice to the journajizzers itching to jump at the chance to connect this shooting to the Tea Party, to racism or any other conservative movement:

The NYT reports that James Holmes was collecting unemployment. As such, he’s much more likely to be an Obama supporter.

Q: What’s the difference between an Obama supporter and a Romney supporter?

A: A Romney supporter signs his checks on the front; the Obama supporter signs his checks on the back.

*rimshot

h/t: Poet

How do you like your prejudiced generalizations now?

Update from a high-school buddy of mine on Facebook:

… lately I feel as though I’ve been making a lot of unintelligent decisions, but in the wake of what happened in Colorado today, I would hope that people, politicians, and pundits alike, don’t use the days events to exploit their own agendas. I’m so very tired of genuine tragic events being turned into a game of one upsmanship, used as rhetoric for personal gain. I hope that the victims of this horrible tragedy are allowed to be mourned by their families and friends with dignity and respect.

Amen, Mikey! Fat chance, but Amen anyway!