This Ain’t Hell brings us the fat, salivating, weapons-grade stupid of one Phillip Mark Thompson. He’s apparently an Army SEAL… or something. And he’s using his talent for embellishment makeshituppery to attract gullible women on a dating site.

fatdude

You guys can go to the TAH link I provided above and read all about this giant bag of douche, as well as take a gander at his oh-so-impressive DD214, which includes oh-so-impressive places he’s served, such as JALALBAD, AFGHANISTAN and TAKRIT, IRAQ.

As for the ladies on the POF website, here’s a couple of clues for you:

  1. There’s no such thing as an Army SEAL.
  2. There’s no such thing as a SEAL this fat, unless you’re at Sea World, and even there I think they keep them on a stricter diet than this shitbag is apparently following.
  3. “Athletic body type” doesn’t include four chins.

Thanks for the laughs, TAH!