On the heels of yesterday’s hilarious video in which two dogs explain exactly what the Fed is doing with our money, I submit this to you. I’ll admit I didn’t realize that former Homeland Security secretary Michael Chertoff had a very significant economic interest in the sale of airport scanners – yes, the very same scanners that allow TSA goons to ogle your naked image, unless you submit to them “touching your junk” instead. But apparently, much like the BENBERNANKE (the “e” is silent), the WILLIAMDUDLEY and other members of the banking cabal who have undeniable ties to the GOLDMANSACHS, Chertoff has a teeeeeeeny, tiiiiiiiiny conflict of interest in the Strip Scanner.
Since the attempted bombing of a US airliner on Christmas Day, former Homeland Security secretary Michael Chertoff has given dozens of media interviews touting the need for the federal government to buy more full-body scanners for airports.
What he has made little mention of is that the Chertoff Group, his security consulting agency, includes a client that manufactures the machines. Chertoff disclosed the relationship on a CNN program Wednesday, in response to a question.
An airport passengers’ rights group on Thursday criticized Chertoff’s use of his former government credentials to advocate for a product that benefits his clients.
Ooooops! A former head of Homeland Security, who ostensibly has security “cred” and the proper authority to scare the living shit out of Americans with his first-hand expertise on the terrorist threat recommends full body scanners which are coincidentally manufactured by a client of his consulting firm?
As one dog said to another in the video below, (robotic voice) “You. have. got. to. be. shitting. me.” (/robotic voice)
And by the way, if you’re wondering where some of that stimulus cash has gone…
Well, some of it has gone indirectly into the pockets of Michael Chertoff and the Chertoff Group.
In the summer, TSA purchased 150 more machines from Rapiscan with $25 million in American Recovery and Reinvestment Act funds. Rapiscan was the only company that qualified for the contract because it had developed technology that performs the screening using a less-graphic body imaging system, which is also less controversial. (Since then, another company, L-3 Communications, has qualified for future contracts, but no new contracts have been awarded.)
Meanwhile, the barely literate, semi-simian TSA goons will continue to either ogle your naked goodies inside the scan, or finger your wheelchair-bound grandma just in case she represents a threat. And I’m sure they will eventually bow to CAIR demands that Muslim women only be submitted to a pat down of their heads and not anywhere else. Because they couldn’t possibly hide an explosive in the hijab, right? And an invasive groping by TSA goons will likely offend their delicate Muslim sensibilities, so we can’t have THAT!
Get this straight, folks. Muslims are the ones trying to kill us, but Muslims are the ones who will likely get an exemption from the special groping the rest of us will receive courtesy of the TSA.
Excellent!!
Meanwhile, a recent CBS poll revealed that the majority of Americans (81 percent) have no problem with their goodies being on full display at the airport through the Chertoff scanner. They think they’ll be safer. However, most of them oppose profiling – either ethnic or racial – as a means of deterring terrorists. Therefore, it’s perfectly OK to force white grandmothers to spread their cheeks for TSA inspections, but leave the goat-smelling, swarthy Middle Eastern blokes alone.
Once again, I submit that the sheeple have gotten exactly what they deserve – both in elected office and at the airport.
Me? I’ll be taking my car places as much as possible. While I realize that it’s nearly impossible to avoid flying at times, I’ll be taking extra special effort to ensure I don’t step foot into an airport that has one of those odious things. In the meantime, I’ll need to decide whether I prefer fully clothed groping to naked ogling.
Hmmmm… tough choice.
UPDATE: My buddy Mike has some damn good lines to utter to the TSA child molesters when going through enhanced security.
My favorite line out of the bunch: “That feels familiar. Do you go to the glory hole at Chester Street?”
I would add that allowing your panties to soak in some not-so-fresh tuna fish for a few days before putting them on will give the TSA Grope Brigade an extra whiff of sumthin’ sumthin’ if they choose to get close to your junk.
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