I’m nothing if not helpful.  I figure you all need my superior intellect (granted, it takes the intellect of a flea to be superior to hoplophobic idiots)  to translate what they’re really trying to tell you as they work to disarm you.

Starbucks’ “Pro-Gun” Policy Prompts Gun Victims’ Advocate Group to Launch Nationwide Boycott on Valentine’s Day 2012:

Translation: Starbucks’ abiding by state laws prompts us to throw a histrionic hissy fit, because they’re not actively joining us in undermining customers’ rights.

A nationwide boycott of Starbucks stores and its products will be launched on Valentine’s Day 2012. Its goal is to eliminate the risk of guns in public places and ultimately to bring sane gun laws to the U.S.

Translation: A few panty-shitting hipsters will go without their venti mocha lattes, because  20,000 laws are just not enough to make us stop soiling ourselves at the thought of law-abiding citizens exercising their rights.

This boycott is being called by the National Gun Victim’s Action Council (NGAC), a network of 14 million gun victims, the faith community including the: Episcopal Peace Fellowship, United Church of Christ, Fellowship of Reconciliation (46 peace fellowships and 43 affiliate fellowships), secular groups working to reduce gun violence and many of the organizations that support passing sane gun laws.  WHY STARBUCKS?  Currently, Starbucks allows guns and assault weapons to be openly carried in its stores (in 43 states) and concealed and carried in its stores (in 49 states) (See Photos). Starbucks’ compliance with the National Rifle Association’s Pro-Gun Agenda was exposed in 2010 when members of the “open carry” movement began meeting in popular chains, such as California Pizza Kitchen, Peets, IKEA, Disney and Starbucks openly carrying their handguns and assault rifles. (Types of Guns)

Translation: Assault weapon = any gun;  NRA’s pro-gun agenda = state laws.

To protect their customers and employees, all of the retail chains—except for Starbucks— banned guns from being carried in their stores.

Translation: Major retail chains have been harassed and excoriated by us, and all of them (except Wal-Mart, Best Buy, Home Depot, Barnes and Noble and Starbucks) have toed the line and disarmed their customers despite state laws protecting their rights.

“Starbucks allowing guns to be carried in thousands of their stores significantly increases everyone’s risk of being a victim of gun violence,” says Elliot Fineman, CEO of the NGAC. “Open and conceal and carry are among the reasons there are 12,000 gun homicides each year in the U.S.  If we had England’s gun laws we would expect 375 gun homicides each year—97% less than we have. England’s gun laws are based on protecting public safety, ours on maximizing sales for the gun industry.”

Translation: Despite our lack of evidence that concealed and open carry cause 12,000 gun homicides each year, despite the verifiable fact that states that have passed concealed carry laws either saw a decrease in crime, or saw no appreciable increase in crime, despite the fact that the FBI’s UCRs confirm that states without right-to-carry laws have much higher violent crime rates than national averages, we will use any disingenuous tactic to fear monger our way.  If we had England’s gun laws, we’d have 375 homicides each year, even though our population is five times the size of theirs and our demographics are much different.

Starbucks has the legal right to ban guns but despite having been petitioned by thousands, asked at a shareholder meeting, and a direct appeal made to their Board, Starbucks clings to this policy that puts millions of Americans at risk every day and encourages the spread of guns being carried in public.

Translation: Starbucks has not bowed to our pressure and fear tactics, even though it has the legal right to allow guns on its premises, and is complying with state laws.

IMPACT OF STARBUCKS BOYCOTT:  Fineman says, “Starbucks steadfast support of the NRA’s lethal pro-gun agenda damages its ‘socially conscious company’ brand. Further,” adds Fineman, “Monte Carlo Simulation risk analysis indicates that 90% of the time, our boycott will reduce Starbucks stock price by an amount no rational company would allow.” 

According to NGAC, the boycott will end when Starbucks rejects the NRA’s Pro-Gun agenda by banning all guns from their stores and committing to be an Aggressive Corporate Advocate for sane gun laws.

Translation:  We’re delusional, but we’ll keep our dirty leftist hippies out of Starbucks, so that the rest of the population can enjoy a cup of coffee without worrying that they’ll be accosted by filthy whiners.

You’re welcome.

I like Starbucks quite a bit, and will ensure I get coffee there every chance I get. I would encourage everyone who values fundamental rights to do the same.