Sequester Blamed for Airport Delays

At least that’s according to J-Nap, who says, “U.S. airports, including Los Angeles International and O’Hare International in Chicago, are already experiencing delays as a result of automatic federal spending cuts.”

Napolitano said Monday that delays will become worse. The Transportation Security Administration and Customs and Border Protection agencies, which are part of the Homeland Security Department, are sending furlough notices and have cut overtime for employees.

Of course, O’Hare is the #1 most delayed airport in the country, according to weather.com owing mostly to the fact that it handles 70 million passengers annually, and the AP admits that both Los Angeles International and O’Hare routinely suffer delays anyway…

But heck, never miss an opportunity to panic monger about the sequester!

EVERYBODY PANIC!

 

“They asked me if that’s a growth – and I said no, that’s my dick”

Said Jonah Falcon, who claims to have the world’s largest penis, about his experience with security at San Francisco International Airport recently.

New York native Jonah Falcon, 41, said that he was returning from a weekend in San Francisco on July 9 when he was delayed by TSA agents [Note: SFO actually has private security under contract with TSA working there, not actual TSA agents] who became curious about the bulge in his pants.

“TSA didn’t know what to make of the massive bulge on my thigh. Even after I went through that body scanner that shows you naked,” Falcon wrote on his Twitter page.

How many of you guys out there would love to make the claim that they got extra friskies because of the size of their… gun?

This guy claims to have a penis that is nearly 10 inches long when flaccid, and more than 13 inches long when erect – making it one of the largest ever recorded.  That’s not a dick. That’s a billy club!  It’s so big, it should charge money for autographs! It probably has its own zip code too, and violates zoning laws in Georgia!

Yeah, write your own dick jokes in comments!

I guess technically it IS a growth. It’s attached to his body (we hope).  I think the security people were just curious to see what a real large schlong looked like.

Come on! How many of you wouldn’t?

Bend over, here it comes again!

It’s commonly referred to as BOHICA – a military acronym that means you’re about to get screwed. Again.

This time, it’s the TSA and the Democrats (I know, you’re shocked!) getting you ready for yet another reaming up the patoot.

The agency, backed by Democrats in the Senate, wants to increase the security fee everyone pays with a ticket from $2.50 a flight. to $5.00 per one-way ticket. A total of $10.00 would be added to round-trip tickets.

Because getting violated, felt up, molested, bullied and abused in every way possible is just not enough. Now you need to also get mugged in an era when the airlines are screwing you for every conceivable fee from checked baggage to peanuts.

At what point will the public say, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?”

The Next Dangerous Item on TSA’s List?

Maybe tampons.

Look, they already molest toddlers, strip search octogenarians and steal nail clippers. We now have to go through checkpoints barefoot, because Richard Reid tried to set his shoe on fire. We have porn scanners because the Crotchbomber hated America so much, he set his junk on fire in a plane.

What makes you think the TSA won’t be checking your feminine hygiene products after this?

Armed with flaming tampons–yes, flaming tampons–two young Pennsylvanians attempted to blow up a vehicle after severely vandalizing it, according to police.

Get ready, ladies! Apparently they make really good wicks??

As for the flaming tampons, a probable cause affidavit notes that investigators “discovered that the gas cap was removed and tampons were used to possibly ignite the gas tank.” Additionally, “Tampon was used in the engine compartment where the oil fill cap is located.” Since “ashes were at the gas cap area and the oil fill cap area,” troopers concluded that the tampons had been set ablaze at each spot.